Fresh@News!

Many members of the Class of 2022 will be headed home for fall break this weekend, and you can feel the energy in the air. For many this will be the first time they have been home since August, and the students are excited about the comforts of home and to have a break from classes. Fresh@news complied our Top 5 Tips for Fall Break.

1. Don’t be offended if they spend the first 30 minutes they are home exclusively with the family dog. They miss them too, and Fido doesn’t have a cell phone to send them selfies, so they really need to catch up.

2. When you inquire about their courses, be sensitive that they have likely just completed a mid-term exam, paper, or project (or all 3!) and might be less excited than usual to talk about classes after what may feel like academic overload. Some helpful prompts are: "What class do you like the most? Who is your favorite professor? What are some things you’ve learned so far?"

3. "Going home" for students typically extends beyond your physical residence. What they miss about home often encompasses family, friends, and FOOD! It can be a treat to have their favorite meal for dinner this week or go to dinner at a favorite restaurant. No matter how much they like the food on campus, they like something from home so much more!

4. Don’t structure ALL their time while they are home. As much as they look forward to visits with their family, they are also hoping to connect with friends and catch up on sleep.

5. Remember that they have spent seven weeks on their own, and it might be a good idea to talk with them about your expectations while they are home, which may include waking up before noon, telling you when they will be home at night, picking up after themselves, and so on. Sometimes parents think everything will be as it was in high school, while the student has developed a new routine and new expectations. It’s good to have a conversation before an issue comes up.

Of course, as parents you want to know: "How is my son or daughter doing at college?" Fresh@News has asked Kathy Byrnes, Associate Vice President for Student Life, to provide some perspectives.

So what should parents be looking for as they try to get a sense of how their son or daughter is doing as a freshman?

Generally speaking when we ask how a student is doing we look at a few different things: 1) Is the student adjusting well to the academic expectations of college work? By now students have gotten some grades back, and should either be doing work that is at least satisfactory or being proactive about seeking help. It’s a good idea to ask specific questions about grades. If there’s an issue, it’s better to find out now. Villanova students are high achieving students so As and Bs are normal. A "C" grade means the student should be reaching out for help. 2) Does the student seem to be making some social connections? Everyone expects the students to make a lot of new friends in college and it often happens that way, but for some students it takes more time. It is a good thing if by Fall Break the student seems to have at least some new friends, and seems to have a positive peer network on campus. However, as students stay more connected to friends from home through social media, we’ve noticed connecting at college can take longer than it once did. Encourage your son or daughter to be proactive in reaching out to hallmates, classmates, and professors to create connections when they are back on campus. 3) Is the student getting involved with some activities? Some students who have a really rigorous academic schedule hold off on getting involved with activities until they adjust to their academic load, and that is a smart move. Other students may get over-involved right away and can’t keep up with their work, which is not optimal. For most students, however, it is a positive thing if they are involved in at least some structured co-curricular activity over and above their course work and social down time. Getting involved in something they are passionate about can often invigorate a student’s positive attitude about completing academic work, expand their social circle, and make them feel more confident and comfortable with their experience. If they want to get involved and need to find out more information about an organization on campus, have them visit the Office of Student Involvement in 102 Dougherty Hall. Their friendly staff will be happy to meet with them and discuss some options that will work for your son or daughter. The Office of First and Second Initiatives in 207 Dougherty Hall is also a good place for a one-on-one conversation about adjusting to college, opportunities to connect, and finding a path at Villanova. If you have any questions or are confused as to where to start, please email parents@villanova.edu and we will be happy to point you in the right direction!

Here is a question that we sometimes hear: "My son says he LOVES Villanova and that he is having a great time. I'm worried, however, that he is having a terrific time socially but that his grades may be suffering. It isn't that I don't trust him, but I'd like some independent indication of how he is doing academically. How would I get that?"

This question is not uncommon, and it applies to many new students who may be distracted by the social aspect of college. Given the greater freedom of college life, some of our students can be a bit unrealistic about how things are going. The fact that they have fewer tests and fewer graded homework assignments than in high school can also mean that they don't get as much feedback on their progress as they are used to. Occasionally a student also may not be completely up front with their parents about their academic work. There are several things to watch. The first indication is mid-term grades. Many faculty members post a mid-term grade. These grades are posted on MyNova, which is our student record system, and they are usually available about a week after Fall Break. So if you haven’t heard anything by the end of October, it is a good time to ask your son or daughter since it is more than likely they received most of their mid-term grades by then. If a student is struggling in one or more classes, the student needs to reach out for help. Resources include: a) visiting a professor during office hours (on the syllabus); b) making an appointment with the student’s academic advisor; c) visiting one of the learning resources on the second floor of the library (Falvey Hall): Learning Support Services, the Writing Center, the Math Learning Resource Center, the Center for Access, Success, and Achievement(CASA), or individual tutoring services. Final grades - which come out just around Christmas -- are a definite moment of truth for first year students. Again, they will be posted on MyNova, and so you should check in with your son or daughter about how their grades were. A student who does poorly (less than a 2.0) during the first semester is put on academic probation. Most of them improve in their second semester. Learning Support Services, mentioned above, is a great place to consult when classes are not going well. Students who continue to do poorly for a second semester may be asked to take some time off to gain some additional maturity.

What if a parent hears that their son or daughter is doing okay in classes, but is not that happy with life on campus?

Once again, it sometimes takes awhile for friendships to solidify. One question to ask is what is the student doing to try to make friends? Is the student reaching out to classmates? … hallmates? … students from their orientation group? Another step is to talk to the RA (Resident Assistant) in the residence hall. The RA is trained to be a resource for students, and can refer the student to a variety of services as needed. (Some of these services are listed on this resource page for parents.) Students can also contact their Orientation Counselor (OC). The OC often has many connections throughout campus and can help students navigate some of the ins and outs of campus life. They are also happy to help parents directly as well; if you would like to talk to your son or daughter’s OC, but don’t have the contact information, just email us at parents@villanova.edu and we will be happy to put you in touch with them. Another avenue is to encourage them to visit the Office of Student Involvement, home of many campus organizations and a great resource for getting involved. As you are likely aware, service is a popular activity on our campus, and there are several ways for them to volunteer through various offices on campus, including Campus Ministry. Weekend retreats run through Campus Ministry are also a wonderful way to connect with a small group of students. Through getting involved, students naturally meet people with similar interests and friendships form. If your son or daughter seems to struggle to find the right organization or wants to find information on which group would be the best for them to connect with, please refer them to the Office of First and Second Year Initiatives in Dougherty 207. The Office will be happy to meet with them to talk about what is the best way for them to feel more connected and comfortable at Villanova.

Suppose a parent is worried about the student. When is it appropriate to call and whom should they call?

If there are problems, the first thing for the parent to do is to advise the student to seek help. Generally speaking, the parent should get involved in one of three cases: 1) The student is in trouble but doesn't seem to be reaching out for help, 2) The student has reached out for help, but the issue wasn't resolved, or 3) The parent is concerned that the student is not being completely candid about the situation. In those cases, the parent should call either the Dean of Students Office or the University Counseling Center (for personal concerns) or the office of the Academic Dean of the student's particular college (in other words, if the student is in Liberal Arts and Sciences, call the office of the Dean of Liberal Arts and Sciences). These offices are extremely knowledgeable and helpful. While college is a time for students to learn how to manage and navigate their own lives, as a parent you are always welcome to reach out to Villanova when you are worried about your son or daughter.

The University Counseling Center offers students a chance to participate in an Adjustment to College group. Students will have a chance to talk about the types of changes they've gone through since coming to college and how they've coped with those changes. It will also give students a chance to learn about opportunities and resources they can seek out on campus that would be helpful for them.

Students who are interested should call the University Counseling Center for more information about how to join the group (610-519-4050).

Any other general advice for parents?

Sometimes there is a temptation for parents to want to interrogate their daughter or son, to make sure everything is going well. My suggestion is to be patient, at least at first, and let your son or daughter tell about their experiences in their own way. Of course a few well placed open-ended questions can always be helpful too.

To read about a student’s perspective on similar topics, please read this article recently published in the New York Times. Emery Bergmann, a sophomore at Cornell, shares Advice From a Formerly Lonely College Student.

First-Year Escape is a weekend retreat for first-year students ONLY. Get away from campus for a weekend to discover friendships, explore faith and values, and wonder what these next years at Nova could look like; all of this happens through talks, reflections, and activities led by sophomore leaders and Campus Ministry Interns. Escape is rooted in the Catholic and Augustinian tradition and open to individuals of all faith backgrounds as well as those who do not identify with any religious tradition.

Register online for either the Oct 26-28, 2018 or Feb 1-3, 2019 retreats. Register at retreats.villanova.edu

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